Moata Tamaira reviews A Court of Horny Roses, presented by Rollicking Entertainment at the Lyttelton Arts Factory, Friday 18 September 2026.
What do you get if you bring a theatre full of Romantasy fans (and the Romantasy-curious) together, act out a chaotic, abridged version of a wildly popular Sarah J. Maas novel, and give them a lot of audience participation opportunities?
A raucously good time for which the word “bawdy” was probably invented. It’s a word that is both old-timey in a vague, “not quite sure of the era” way and closely aligned with the smutty, therefore tailor-made for a Romantasy-themed show where the woman wears a corset, the men wear shirts with lace up collars, the audience are encouraged to make sex noises, and the grand finale… is a fae threesome.
A Court of Horny Roses makes great use of the format the folks at Rollicking Entertainment have perfected in decidedly more family-friendly fare with their “summer theatre on the archery lawn” shows at the Botanic Gardens, The Complete Voyage of the RMS Titanic and The Lord of the Rings in 90 Minutes. It’s minimal in terms of staging with a cast of exactly three (Lizzie Tollemache and Dan Pengelly, with Criss Grueber as musical accompaniment) playing a dizzying number of characters, galloping (sometimes literally) through the plot at break-neck speed. But this time there are dick jokes. LOTS of them.
It’s also a self-aware parody that has love for the source material but is also pointedly questioning of it. Tamlin, High Lord of the Spring Court, has kidnapped the human woman Fayre, kept her a prisoner and is now putting some serious moves on her when the actor portraying him, Dan Pengelly, snaps out of character and says, “isn’t this a bit problematic?”
Oh, it definitely is, Dan. It’s problematic boyfriends all the way down in Romantasy. But there’s a fundamental difference between book boyfriends and the real world kind and it’s not (just) dick size. Every Romantasy reader can relate when later in the piece Lizzie Tollemache says, “I know that’s problematic but it’s really fuckin’ hot”. I’m still not sure if that was scripted or just Tollemache, you know, stating facts.
Indeed, there are a lot of improvised moments in the show when audience suggestions for scenes force the actors to really stretch themselves. Who knew you could cobble together a steamy scene using abseiling terms as euphemisms? I will never think of “spelunking” in the same way again. And Pengelly deserves a trophy for his inspired use of “slag pile” in a scene that had him engaging in the manly art of welding, perhaps one he arc-welds himself?
But if prizes are being awarded then truly there are none more worthy than Tollemache for her extended and detailed instructions on female genitalia and the finer points of fingering. I literally have written in my notebook “this is the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life” and I stand by it. Combined with her telling Pengelly off for playing Wonderwall on the guitar, there must be some acknowledgement on the way from The Sisterhood for her good works.
This show covers so much in an hour and a half that it’s impossible to accurately describe it but I will note that I’ve come away with a better understanding of how a Capital Gains Tax would likely be applied in New Zealand, the date that enrolment to vote closes for the upcoming election (25 October), and the knowledge that for a lot of Millennial women the Beast in Disney’s Beauty and The Beast initiated a sexual awakening.
With only two shows in this run it’s a shame that more Romantasy fans won’t get to experience this brilliantly good time at the theatre, but for them I guess there’s always chapter 27 in A Court of Thorns and Roses.
A Court of Horny Roses runs until Saturday 19 September 2026.
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